The Douches Are Omnipresent

We thought we could just wait it out. Thousands of years ago, Homo sapiens barely out of the trees who didn't know any better identified all the awesome natural events that dumped on their parade as "gods." There was a lot of the natural world going on, so there were thousands of gods. Over time, the Homo started to figure shit out, and it realized there were better explanations for the universe. One by one the gods dropped like flies. Eventually there was but one god left, but it clung on like a dingleberry.

Over the centuries H. sapiens stripped more and more attributes off of this one god, because there were always -- always -- better explanations for the world than 'god dunnit.' It was indeed an Incredible Shrinking Deity. It became an immaterial, ineffable, and 'transcendent' god, which is to say it meant nothing. Eventually it became the answer to rather pointless questions. It was like a crappy denouement to a play, where the deux ex machina flies in to explain an incredible plot twist. Problem is, in real life there are no gods but there are plenty of douches.

We thought we could wait it out until it evaporated completely, but it turns out even this transcendent Nothing to this day incites the mutated apes to bad behavior, whether it's mind-fucking children ('minds' if they're lucky) or flying airplanes into buildings. Waiting it out is no longer an option. We've taken upon ourselves a daunting and mostly thankless task: defending the rational world against the teeming hordes of god punchers. Religiosity and its kin -- astrology, homeopathy, and all the assorted spiritualities and crazy that infect our public discourse -- are sucking the life out of humanity, and it must be stopped.

We believe that identifying the problem is the first step toward mental health. After 'identifying' comes heaping upon it scorn and derision, then there's a brief period of backlash with unkind things being said, then a bit more derision, and then eventually one day we'll all look back on it and laugh. That's our theory anyway.

This blog is not intended to talk anyone down from the crazy ledge. If you believe in a Sky God or the power of 'faith' or any other spiritual happy horseshit, you are already by definition unreasonable, and you probably won't understand half of what gets said in here anyway. You might as well fuck off now.